Female Genitals Are Magical Things

ChildbirthWhile I’m sure we can all agree with the post title as a general rule (except perhaps you literal skeptic types out there), I want to apply it specifically to childbirth. Because damn, a woman’s cunt is an amazing thing.

I’m saying this having emerged from a fairly intense week of family business, namely the birth of my brand new nephew. I was privileged to be present at the birth of my sister’s second son and I’m still rather high from the experience. It was momentous, exhausting, emotional and joyful and I’m simply in awe of the entire process. The sheer enormity of the moment drowns everything else out; nothing seems important beyond celebrating the glory of a new life beginning.

Yes, I’m a bit gushy about it all. I will even admit to feeling just a tad clucky, which is a worrying response considering I am still determined not to have kids. But I’m assuming this is just a natural biological response. There’s a new bundle of genes related to me and I can’t help but fall in love with him. And he IS gorgeous.


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But back to the wonder of cunts.

I’ve glimpsed the occasional childbirth photo and seen explicit depictions in several documentaries but it’s only been a relatively brief glimpse. My response has been to wince and cross my legs; the whole “forcing a watermelon through a tiny hole” analogy has always been apt. Still, I’ve never witnessed the entire process of birth before and it’s just a spectacular thing. The vagina gets filled with baby, the clit and butt move out of the way and vulva and perineum stretches and stretches until the whole thing can accommodate a head. It’s fucking unbelievable. And then it keeps stretching until the baby comes out. After that it goes back into place, slowly and carefully.

Being the proud owner of a cunt myself, I know it’s theoretically capable of doing such things. But to see it happen… damn. It’s kind of like the way a snake can unhinge its jaw to eat a really big animal. The brain tells you it doesn’t make sense but nature just happily does it, accommodating extremes.

Apparently there are some men who freak out at seeing such major changes to their beloved’s beloved area. It stops being a “playground” and suddenly becomes a freight warehouse that’s six stories tall. OK, maybe that’s not the right metaphor, but you get the idea. It’s certainly true that you can’t “unsee” the image once you’ve been there but I would never want to do that. I feel so humbled by it, so impressed by the capacity of the human body to transform and adapt.

My decision not to have children comes with inbuilt regrets. One is that I won’t be able to experience this myself and I’m a bit sad about that. I think pregnancy and childbirth are fascinating. To be honest, if there was some way to have kids and have them all grown and gone in five years I might consider it. But I’m very aware of the amount of time, patience, work and money that having kids requires and I know that I don’t want to go there.

Still, I have nephews and nieces whom I adore and can spoil rotten along with no nappies and plenty of sleep. A good solution.