These Are Not Sensible Shoes

Dasolina shoes from Nine West - not sensible in any way
It’s nearly here. My cousin’s lesbian wedding (ooh, sorry, commitment ceremony) is this Saturday. Which means I’m going to be off with the bridesmaid fairies for a little over a week. I’m going to organise some advance blog posts to keep you entertained, but don’t expect anything pithy.

And thus, these shoes. My god. Aren’t they beautiful and terrible? These are the shoes I am wearing as a bridesmaid at the lesbian wedding. Remember that thing about how lesbians were supposed to wear sensible shoes? Forget it.

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I’m very, very worried about these shoes. I really like the look of them, but if you read this blog regularly you know that me and high heels get along about as well President Obama and Ann Coulter. And in this metaphor, I get to be Obama and the shoes are Coulter: kind of svelte but also tight, pinchy and seriously unstable.

And this is an outdoor wedding. Beside a lake. I, with my big, square hobbit feet, am being asked to somehow balance myself on 4 inch heels across grass and mud, and look fabulous at the same time.

I will do it of course. This wedding is just so important. It’s a statement of love and acceptance. And it’s an occasion when my extended family will get together and party and prove that all our differences can be overcome through shared experience and ongoing affection.

Wish me luck.