In it’s usual breathless, bold-type manner, the Sun reports that a third of all women fake orgasms.
The average woman has sex 99 times a year.
But on 34 occasions the earth does NOT move. In the poll of 4,000 women, 30 per cent admitted they had faked an orgasm with EVERY partner they have had. And 90 per cent say blokes cannot distinguish a fake from the real thing.
The poll was by Onepoll, a market research company.
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What caught my eye here was the way the whole thing was phrased. Women were asked about “bad sex” and “foreplay” and a lot of emphasis was placed on the idea of men being caring, sharing and romantic.
The list of things that “bad lovers do wrong” includes “rush foreplay, foreplay too short, love making too brief, too heavy handed.” The list of things “good lovers do right” includes “vary foreplay, possess a good technique, powerful but never rough” and… wait for it… “send romantic texts.”
My problem here is that this survey perpetuates the idea that penis-in-vagina intercourse is the main course, and “foreplay” is just that thing guys do to make women juicy.
Where’s the question about clitoral stimulation? Are all those women faking it because they don’t actually know you’re supposed to rub the little man in the boat?
Surely the number one thing a good lover does is stimulate your clitoris at the earliest opportunity? At least in terms of ensuring that an orgasm doesn’t have to be faked?
Never mind the “Urs is a butt tht wont quit” texts and start stampeding towards the clitoris boys. That’s my advice.