New Masturbation World Records

Masturbate A Thon logoThe annual Masturbate-A-Thon was held on Sunday. The event aims to encourage the acceptance of masturbation as a healthy practice. Apparently some new world records were set: a man broke the record for orgasming the most number of times (31). And woman masturbated for seven hours straight, orgasming an average of once an hour. Doing anything for seven hours straight is stressful so such a marathon wank session must have required superhuman effort.

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In this room, throughout Sunday, dozens of different people would lay around on blankets and pillows, touching themselves, screaming, panting, and orgasming. A team of documentary filmmakers working on a project called “Sticky” interviewed and filmed many of the performers, who in turn danced around a stripper pole, sang songs, played the violin, and theatrically masturbated to climax on a giant sofa. By the time the sun went down, the room reeked of sex juice, and somebody turned on a fan. It didn’t help.

I’m looking at the official logo (above) and giggling at the whimsy that decided a dick with wings, legs and tail also needed a bumhole.