Mark Twain Posts

If voting made any difference they wouldn’t let us do it.

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.

Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on, or by imbeciles who really mean it.

Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.

When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.


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Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.

Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.

Everybody talks about the weather, but nobody does anything about it.

Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear, and the blind can read.

Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.

Every generalization is false, including this one.

In religion and politics, people’s beliefs and convictions are in almost every case gotten at second-hand, and without examination.

Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more.

A classic is something that everybody praises and nobody has read.

Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.

I have found solace in profanity unexcelled even by prayer.

Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.

Substitute “damn” every time you’re inclined to write “very”; your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.

Cauliflower is nothing but Cabbage with a College Education.

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