In the wake of For The Girls’ fourth erotic fiction competition, I feel the need to make a post urging aspiring authors to follow a few simple rules when writing erotic fiction. I feel this because, even though there were plenty of absolutely gorgeous and cleverly written short stories entered, there were also plenty of bombs.
Yes folks, there are people out there who fancy themselves as masters of the dirty story, but they’re not. They’re really not. Aside from the blow-by-blow porny sex descriptions there’s the awful spelling, the bad use of tense, the endless sentences and the dodgy punctuation. Little things, but they’re vitally important.
And when you’re sitting there cross-eyed, ploughing through over 80 stories about sex, you start to get kind of tetchy and you start to make lists in your head, wanting the would-be Anais Nins of the world to know that they could be doing it much, much better.
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I even wrote a few things down:
Tip #1: Real women rarely refer to themselves as being “busty.”
Tip #2: Never use the word “retarded” in your stories. Go and watch Idiocracy and you’ll begin to understand.
Tip #3: Titles are good. As are paragraphs.
Tip #4: The rules are there for good reason. No, you are not exempt from them.
Tip #5: If you are writing erotica for women, it’s a good idea to leave out the misogynistic observations.
Tip #6: If your story didn’t do well in last year’s competition, it doesn’t help to submit it verbatim to this year’s comp.
But you know what? I’ve already been here, in 2006. Read my post How To Win An Erotic Fiction Competition. It’s all there. Everything I wanted to say.
Or you might want to read Susie Bright’s excellent book How To Write A Dirty Story.
Alternatively, go and visit the Erotica Readers and Writers Association and check out their many useful articles.
I was also going to direct you to Black Lace’s writers guidelines but the site seems to be down. Google it, maybe they’ll be back up soon.
I don’t claim to be a perfect writer. I’m probably guilty of numerous grammatical errors and spelling mistakes in my blog, and I still have to stop and think about the word “its” every time. But when it comes to something that has to make an impression on a judge or editor… then I get pedantic. And that’s what all aspiring writers need to do.
Anyway, I’ll leave you with my favourite spelling typo of the year. If this doesn’t convince you of the importance of proof reading, nothing will.
“The towel fell to the floor with his prodding and her juicers ran all over his fingers.”