April 14 is Cake and Cunnilingus Day, now in its third year.
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Yes, I made it up. I decided to reject the stupid masculinist idea of “steak and a blowjob day” by creating my own silly girly holiday. Does it help the cause of feminism? I’m buggered if I know.
Anyway, it’s two months after the gushy sentamentality of Valentine’s Day and it’s a good day to simply indulge in carnal and epicurian lusts. Definitely beats a bunch of flowers, I think.