Requisite Post About Johnny Depp’s Shagability

Johnny Depp - very shagable as Captain Jack Sparrow
I saw Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest today. And, naturally, I concur with almost every other female blogger on the planet: Johnny Depp is extraordinarily shagable as Captain Jack Sparrow.

Is it the dreadlocks? The bandanna? The twin beard? The slightly sozzled air? I suspect it’s the heavy eyeliner, which not only highlights his rather nice eyes, but suggests a certain gothic, romantic sensibility.

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How many hours – three, four, a thousand, more? – would it take to finally reach the Caribbean, where I’m sure to not only find Captain Jack Sparrow, but seduce him?

How many indeed?

This second movie has suggestions of a love triangle between Jack, Elizabeth and Will, which naturally prompted all sorts of imagined threesome scenarios not suitable for a Disney movie. What girl wouldn’t wish to be sandwiched between Depp and Orlando Bloom, careless of pirate-related personal hygiene issues?

And then I read this review in Rolling Stone which suggested that Captain Jack Sparrow is bisexual.

Ooh, get me my smelling salts.

I might as well post a link to naked photos of Johnny Depp, just for titillation, although I’m sure that butt is not the same as Captain Jack’s.

And I might as well rehash some of my post about the idea of Johnny Depp appearing in a porn movie, with a few more title suggestions:

Who’s Eating Out Mrs Grape?
Chocolat Lubricant
Ed’s Wood
Don Juan Demarco Does Dallas
Screw The Astronaut’s Wife… Please
Finding Nippleland
Beer and No Clothing in Las Vegas
Sleepy Swallow
and of course, he’d have to be in the remake of that all time classic, Edward Penishands.

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