While I was away enjoying life a small debate erupted about porn, facials, blowjobs and feminism. It started because Petra Joy wrote this on her blog:
A woman receiving head, a woman fucking a guy with a strap-on, a guy tasting his own cum and also to feature female ejaculation – those techniques that show a woman in control might be “feminist porn”. If you want to show cum on a woman’s face that’s fine but don’t call it feminist.
Petra made the comment while discussing her appearance at the Berlin Film Festival in a seminar called Good Porn for Good Girls. Her fellow panelists, Audacia Ray and Erika Lust, weren’t so impressed with this. Audacia made this post on her blog, and Erika wrote a long, angry post in defence of blowjobs.
I was off bushwalking and guzzling wine at the time, so I didn’t make any serious posts about it. And I was tempted to just let it slide, figuring I’d missed the boat on it. But I feel the need to write a few things on the whole subject.
I’m a huge fan of Petra’s and I really support what she’s trying to do. I understand where she’s coming from with that comment, but I also understand why it caused such an extreme reaction. I copped something similar when I wrote I Hate The Money Shot several years ago. When it comes to feminism and porn, everyone has a different view, and it helps to lay down caveats at every stage.
I’ll say this: I still hate facial cumshots. I’m pretty sick of external cumshots. And the fact is that porn blowjobs bore the hell out of me.
This is a personal opinion and does not apply to all women. I don’t, however, believe I’m alone in thinking this, not by a long shot.
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Facial cumshots always look fake and stupid to me. The usually involve the woman kneeling before the guy, her mouth open or smiling like a blowup Barbie doll. We only ever get to see the man’s cock and his hand while he jerks off. The cum goes on her face, in her hair, in her eye, and then she smiles and licks it all off like it’s manna from heaven, often smiling and looking directly into the camera.
I don’t think that is sexy. It just looks dumb.
Facial cumshots suck because:
1. We don’t get to see the guy’s face when he comes, which is always a sexy thing to see.
2. They’re often carefully staged, are disconnected from the sex and look fake.
3. They can be very easily interpreted as a degrading thing. Wait, my fellow rabid feminists! That’s not to say they always are, but within the context of a very misogynist porn industry where facials are the norm, and where it’s often assumed the viewer is a male who likes to see women in their place, the facial can be a sexist thing.
4. It’s always assumed that a facial will occur at the end of sex, there’s no discussion of it and no indication that either party wanted it to be that way. It just happens as though that’s the way everybody does it.
I’ll also restate my position that I hate the way the male orgasm (as engendered in the money shot or facial) is always the “final whistle” in porn. It’s considered to be the ultimate act, the most important thing in a whole scene. And often there’s no female orgasm whatsoever.
Imagine how ground breaking it would be if we got to see the woman come AFTER the guy? Even if that meant bringing in a vibrator. Sure, it would be just as set up as a standard facial but at least there’d be a bit of equality happening.
So, can a facial ever be “feminist”? My answer is yes. As always, context is everything.
There’s a scene in Candida Royalle’s Eyes of Desire when Chloe asks Tom Byron if she can watch him come. It’s one of the few “money shots” in Candida’s films but it works because we the viewer know that Chloe wanted to see it. And I think that’s how a facial can be feminist (and more enjoyable) – when the viewer knows that there’s consent and desire involved.
Audacia and Erika also point out that the intentions and ethics of the filmmaker make all the difference, I do agree with them there, but as a viewer I don’t think it’s enough to make me want to watch it. Let me hear the woman on screen say “Come on my face, I love that” and I’ll find the scenario a whole lot more believeable. I’m still not going to find it sexy, but that’s just personal taste.
And the other thing is this – blowjobs are boring! I’ve been reviewing so many porn movies lately and the one thing I’m guaranteed to fast forward is the blowjob scenes. Of which there are many.
Again, this is personal taste. I don’t doubt there are plenty of women who love watching blowjobs, but I’m not one of them. Give me clit licking any day.
I’ve been pondering why I find porn BJs to be dull. It may well be because I’m a woman and I want to see the woman pleasured, not the guy.
It may also be due to the excessive screentime given to blowjobs as compared to pussy licking. Sucking dick always seems to get more airtime in most mainstream porn. Look at the recently released “Oral themed” category nominations at the AVN awards and all but one of the films are about blowjobs.
Or it may be due to porn’s insistence of focusing only on the woman as she’s going down. From a female point of view, that’s not what’s hot about blowjobs. Fact is, when you’ve got a mouth full of cock you don’t look so great. What IS hot is knowing that you’ve got a guy right where you want him, squirming and under your control. And it’s hot to see his face as he gets lost in that pleasure. Porn steadfastly refuses to show the guy’s face.
I did enjoy watching Mr Marcus receive a blowjob in Tristan Taormino’s Chemistry, mainly because the camera stood back and showed us both Marcus and Dana. We could see how much Marcus was into the whole thing, and that was hot.
It doesn’t happen often.
So, is it ever reasonable to dictate what kind of sex acts are “feminist”? Well, no, because then you turn into Andrea Dworkin, and none of us want that.
It is reasonable, however, to think about the way mainstream porn gives priority to certain sex acts and the context in which they’re presented. And it’s OK to stand up and say “No, I don’t think those particular sex acts in that context is female-friendly or feminist.” Choice, consent and desire are what makes the difference and if I’m not seeing that, I will tend to think negatively about certain sex acts in porn.
It’s also OK to say “I want to make feminist porn and my vision of it does not entail certain sex acts or scenarios because I personally find them to be unsatisfactory or degrading.”
Feminist porn is a nebulous concept and it’s worth having a debate about what it is, what it means and what it should entail. We’ve all got different ideas about what we want to see but that’s a good thing because it means that there’s a diversity and energy involved.
And the important thing is that feminist porn – whatever that encompasses – gets out there and starts to overcome the stagnant, sexist, boring offerings that comprise the vast majority of the porn industry. Because that’s something on which we can all agree and strive for.
* Pic is from a site I made ages ago called Penis Karaoke. I had so many photos where it looked like the girls were singing into a dick, I had to make up some funny galleries.
* Update 3rd December: I missed this post when it originally came out, but it’s worth adding here. The Girl With A One Track Mind reveals a disturbing personal experience with a guy who was overly keen on facials. The comments are also worth reading.
I’ve seen many images of both men and women with “a mouth full of cock” that I thought made these people look absolutely radiant. I’ve even made a few such images myself.
“Porn steadfastly refuses to show the guy’s face.”
I’m pretty sure this is like most porn filmmaking “conventions”, it’s about what the majority of the market want – the majority of porn viewers – men, don’t want to see the male performer’s face, especially when he’s deep in the throes of orgasm. It’s one of the most complained about aspects of porn that I know. That then makes it about economics – not necessarily about an anti feminist conspiracy.
Ell, I fully understand the reason why porn is hesitant to show the men – it’s assumed the male audience doesn’t want to “catch the gay.” I know it’s not an anti-feminist conspiracy. But that doesn’t mean I can’t complain about it LOL
Something else I should add; perhaps it’s a little bit of extra context that may expand what I’ve written. I’m currently in the middle of reviewing Tristan Taormino’s Chemistry films. In these movies, the interviews do an amazing job of explaning what the actors are thinking and what they like. That informs my opinion of the sex itself. I’ve found myself able to watch sex acts I wouldn’t normally want to see (such as choking) because the stars talk about it before and after. I’m aware that what Tristan is doing is quite ground breaking when it comes to gonzo, and I think there should be a lot more of it in porn. Of course, Tony’s films do a similar thing, which is why I’ve enjoyed all of them.
I don’t find blowjobs boring – in fact, they’re a personal favorite! – but I agree w/ you in wishing porn would show the guy’s face more often. That’s one of the hottest things about a blowjob, to me – seeing the look(s) on the guy’s face, especially to the point where he stops trying to have any “composure” or whatever. I agree about the Marcus and Dana scene in Chemistry… hot!
As I said at Ren’s blog a few days ago, it’s not that I want to restrict or do away with the type of porn that’s already out there and considered “mainstream.” Instead I would like to see much more variety. We can acknowledge and respect that some people (male and female) like a lot of the mainstream porn that’s available today, and at the same time push for more variety in porn so that other people can find something *they* like.
… I’m sure if you re-read what you wrote you’d understand full well why men find women more palatable on screen and on their knees rather than lecturing them about sexuality and feminism.
Er, what?
A full year after I write this post I get some sexist guy making a rather ridiculous comment. Huh. Still, I thought I’d let it through. If nothing else, it did prompt me to re-read this post which I rather like. And I still stand by what I wrote.
Everyguy, why don’t you go back to jerking off and stop trying to think, it doesn’t suit you.
I don’t know about Everyguy, can’t blame PMS I suppose, it’ll be something eating him, but not a pretty girl anyway. I am 100% male and look at my share of porn. Hate the degrading stuff though and love to see sex being enjoyed by all. Completely identify with your blog entry, first read it myself about 6 months ago.
I like to cum inside, a pussy or a mouth. I reckon some of these jokers need their own hand, wankers (not that there’s anything wrong with that). A money shot for me is that sly smile a girl with some character makes when she’s turned on. I like Jana Foxy a lot. Don’t see many guys around her though. I believe she’s too smart and plays the game she wants to play. Go Jana!
I know that there are lot of guys ot there who have radical opinions on showing the male face during cumshot (up to the decisions not to buy anything from the same producer ever again). I am not so radical myself but I still think that seeing the male face in the middle of the cumshot somewhat ruins the feeling.
Let me explain. Being a heterosexual male myself I am open to admit that I like women:) I watch porn because of the women. Anything else seen on the screen is just irrelevant. Of course I am not offended by male presence in any way (not afraid of “catching the gay”). I can even watch gay porn without being offended in any way but it is just BORING. I would imagine that if I would have a boyfriend instead of girlfriend then I could very well find gay porn interesting and stimulating but I just don’t do. Male presence is not repulsive or offending (as opposed to most of the reality-TV:)) but it is also not sexual for me in any sense.
So, cutting to male face during the cumshot is about equivalent to cutting to hardwood floor instead. Yeah, it could be very aesthetically pleasing and nice floor but it has nothing to do with the thing that I was just watcing and so it is just distracting.
All things said I have to admit that I really do not care about facials anyway (creampies are much nicer) and definitely would agree that extended blowjobs are just boring.
One common problem with feminist approach to issues seems to be the idea that men do things that women don’t like because they want to annoy (hurt, degrade etc) women. I really don’t think it is the case most of the times. Men are selfish bastards and generally have no interest in things outside their own small world of preferences. So men do whatever they do just because they like it, not to hurt somebody else. Most of the time. There are always some sick exceptions but that’s not the point.
I really do not know how customer-driven the porn market is. I suspect that no porn producer gives a damn about my views expressed above. They just do what they do. I just buy the things I buy. Maybe, just MAYBE there are some production decisions made based on the analysis of sales figures but I doubt it. If there is then there is of course only one way to influence the content produced is to buy more of the porn you DO LIKE.
There are lot of things that I do not like or am indifferent towards but still have huge market. Good example from automotive world would be SUV-s. I personally think that they are ugly and crap to drive but still hundreds of thousands of them are bought each year so there must be some people that really like them. Good for them.
Same goes with the porn. If there would be hordes of porn buyers who faithfully buy every title that has no cumshots and lot of male exposure in heterosexual context, refusing to buy anything else then probably the amount of such content produced would eventually increase. Or maybe not:). I still feel that I would not personally find it very interesting and probably would not buy it. My personal preferences can’t however influence the market as whole.
smboards, thanks for your comment. My thoughts on showing the male face during orgasm are obviously from the perspective of a female porn viewer. I’m fully aware of why most mainstream porn focuses on the female during a cumshot as well as its general purpose of satisifying male masturbatory desires. This post focuses more on the issue of whether facial cumshots should appear in feminist porn, which is often made for female viewers (or else does not give absolutely priority to the male point of view).
On a human level, coming from a middle of the road feminist male, I would love to see more scenes where there are facial shots of both genders. I think that websites such as ‘Beautiful Agony’ do well ebcause they understand that eroticism extends beyond the mechanics of orgasm. But then, as a male, I love to watch my woman be pleasured, whether it is by me, or by her own hand, or a vibe…
Everyguy Says:
December 5th, 2008 at 2:12 pm
… I’m sure if you re-read what you wrote you’d understand full well why men find women more palatable on screen and on their knees rather than lecturing them about sexuality and feminism.
I appreciate women that are open about their thoughts, desires and reactions about all subjects sexual, the more I understand the more I can work what I do to their pleasure…which works toward the best for everyone!
Bob
As a male I don’t find seeing a man’s face attractive, especially if it’s one of those crooked teeth guys who seem to be all over the porn industry now. Of course, I don’t find blowjobs too attractive, as they’re often far too drawn out.
But I’d much rather have the camera on the girl as much as possible, and not the guy, not because I’m afraid of “catching the gay” but because I just want to look at a woman…I don’t have a favourite male actor, nor do I care much for who it is.
So yes, I suppose porn has been engineered for someone like me in many aspects. Perhaps we need some more female directors? By women, for women. Because from a marketing perspective, why wouldn’t you do what most of the men like, as they make up most of the porn-viewing audience.
Oral sex on film is insanely dull to me, no matter which gender is getting it. Curiously one of my absolute favorite things to DO, but I hate to SEE it.
Porn flicks are like cooking shows. Some things we love are just not so thrilling on film.
I am in whole-hearted agreement with the blog author’s stated opinion of the money shot, “facials”, etc. Personally I find them patently offensive for this reason: the act is ALWAYS divorced from any real or even faked (ever hear the phrase porn ACTOR, people?!) emotion or even just a realistic depiction of sex in general.
Before I go any further, let me offer this for your edification: I ABSOLUTELY LOVE WATCHING A MAN COME! LOVE IT, LOVE IT, LOVE IT!!! However… and herein lies the rub… I want it to be something that happens not to demonstrate that yes, the male performer actually ejaculated (big whoop – never met a male yet who didn’t), but as a result of something I did that caused it (whether fellatio, a hand job or just licking his nipples for him while he pleasures himself… and for the record, I’m quite willing to give the odd prostate massage). I want there to be more consensus within a film that yes, both parties desire this act; I’ll still find it boring as hell, of course… but acceptable.
I also whole-heartedly agree with the brother above who offered the explanation that men are just selfish, clueless and utterly unimaginative creatures; I recognize the truth and a half of this statement as I have three brothers and know this to be true from personal experience… BUT… there’s a simple answer to this little problem: quit being so selfish, get a clue and for heaven’s sake use your brain for more than keeping your skull from collapsing in on itself! The very notion of a male conspiracy is downright laughable for this reason alone!
As for what constitutes feminist porn, there will be varying opinions, not all of them sex-positive, unfortunately… but I can tell you one thing it MIGHT be: wouldn’t it be a novel idea to have the actors… umm… you know.. TALK to each other during the sex acts? Now, I don’t mean the standard porno patter that passes for dialogue in these movies… but the real stuff we say to each other when we’re giving and receiving pleasure… stuff like… “Yeah, baby… a little more to the left” or “Damn, I love that! Do it again!” or “Oh, damn, I love fucking you!” or maybe even “How’s that, baby? You like that? Want me to keep doing it?” You know – DIALOGUE! I get so bored with all the faky moaning and the guy’s not saying a damn word… just grunting like a boar hog at a sow; I mean… we ‘re HUMANS, for crying out loud! God gave us the capacity to not just procreate through sex but to actually ENJOY it! So… let’s see some enjoyment! Let’s take porn back from the clueless wankers who’ve turned it into the movie equivalent of beef jerky (it’ll keep you from dying, but it ain’t that satisfying a meal).
My concept of feminist porn? No act is off limits IF BOTH PARTIES DESIRE IT… but this desire must be clearly indicated by dialogue, either before or after the act has commenced. Sex is enjoyed EQUALLY by all parties concerned… and yes, that means I wanna see the WOMAN’S money shot, too! I wanna see her dripping when all is said and done… and both of them sweating and with shit-eating grins of pure satisfaction on their faces! You know… LIKE REAL SEX IS SUPPOSED TO BE!
My two cents’ worth….
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