Excuse Me, Penises Aren’t Ugly

It’s been in the news for weeks and I thought I’d finally weigh in on the whole Anthony Weiner penis photo drama. Not because of all the glorious jokes that can be made about dicks but because of the above video from The Daily Show.

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It’s mostly great. I especially like the point Kristen makes that men who send unsolicited penis photos labour under the misapprehension that more information about their penis will seal the deal with desirable women. Rest assured, fellas, it won’t. Sure, we may be curious about your penis and maybe even want to see it one day. But there’s a time and a place for knowing about it and seeing an uninvited photo on one’s phone isn’t one of them.

What I didn’t like about the above video was this exchange at around 2:30:

Jon Stewart: To be fair though, sometimes women send men risque photos as well.
Kristen: Well, because the female body is beautiful and penises look like a species discovered on the undersea floor living near sulphur jets.

This whole “penises are ugly” thing has been repeated fairly often during the whole affair. And it’s a common trope that women’s bodies are naturally beautiful but men’s bodies are undesirable and unappealing. It’s an idea that reinforces the idea of the male gaze, where men do the looking but are not to be looked at.

I for one would like to speak up for the penis. I think cocks are lovely. They’re a fantastic piece of the human anatomy and we should celebrate them.

And I should know. I’ve been looking at them constantly for ten years. I think in that time I may well have seen at least ten thousand examples of the male member in all shapes and sizes and in all states of being. They all have their own personalities and unique characteristics. And they all look glorious when they’re erect.

I didn’t always think this way. I remember feeling a little squeamish about cocks when I started out. I enjoyed looking at handsome faces, muscles, hairy chests, gorgeous legs and pert butts… but the penis didn’t really thrill me. I may have considered them to be a little ugly to be honest (although, to be fair, I didn’t find female genitals all that appealing either). I was a typical example of my culture at that time; as a woman I wasn’t encouraged to look at men nor was I exposed to male nudity very often. While female nudity was common, the cock remained secret and hidden. Especially images of the hard cock, which were (and are) regularly censored.

What’s changed is sheer exposure. Over the years I got to know the penis and I finally came to appreciate how lovely it is.

I think more and more women will begin to feel the same way, especially now that we have easy access to a plethora of cocks on the internet. It’s time we stopped deriding the male body and started admiring it.

Consensually, of course.