We went to a friend’s house for dinner last night and were alternately amused and annoyed by their three kids.
At one point the eldest, who is four, decided to come into the kitchen with the sole purpose of getting some attention. “Hey Luke,” she said with her impish grin. “Look at me!” And when he did she very clearly and loudly said “BUM!”
So then she got into all kinds of trouble and had to apologise to Luke and everybody and was sent away in disgrace.
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I was very good at hiding my laughter. We all held our poker faces until she was out of the room and then had a quiet giggle about it. The thing is, these kids are very good and that kind of discipline will make sure they stay that way.
But I couldn’t help but muse about the way children learn what is right and wrong, and where it all collides with sexuality.
And then I started to think that coming into a room and shouting BUM! (or, more appropriately, DICK) could well be a metaphor for how I make my living. Uttering the unmentionable, childishly giggling all the while.
And plenty of people have become famous and made careers out of walking into a room and saying rude things.
So… everyone… BUM!
Ah, that’s better.