Groundskeeper Willie: Unlikely Sex Symbol

He may have a past that includes the nicknames “Rowdy Roddy Peeper” and “The Aberdeen Strangler”, he may make a hobby of filming couples having sex in cars (and “every single Scottish person does it!”) and he may have been concevied, born and educated on a pool table but Groundskeeper Willie is still a bit of a hottie.

Not convinced?

Just watch the Simpsons episode where Willie wildly rips off his shirt to reveal a fabulously muscular chest, demanding “Grease me up woman!”

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I love that bit. It’s one of my all-time favourite Simpsons bits, one I will happily watch repeatedly. Apparently the phrase “there’s nary an animal alive that can outrun a greased Scotsman” is much cherished by the Scottish.

Then there’s the episode where he wrestles a wild wolf (after ripping off his shirt). Or the one where he uses his impressive (shirtless) musculature to dig Bart out of the well.

And he wears a kilt. Kilts are sexy.

He also doesn’t wear anything under his kilt as evidenced when he was being interviewed by police and kept crossing and uncrossing his legs (the police point a gun and say he’s been warned about that). On another occasion the wind blew the kilt up, at which point he exclaimed: “Ach! ‘Tis no more than what God gave me, you puritan pukes!”

The only other contender for “best physique in Springfield” is Ned Flanders (“Stupid sexy Flanders” – Homer), but he doesn’t have that obnoxious-yet-heroic personality that makes Willie so strangely appealing. And while Disco Stu is very cool, he never takes off his leisure suit (and Disco Stu doesn’t advertise).

Now, I suspect I may be alone in thinking the Groundskeeper Willie is a sex symbol. A quick search of Google reveals a total of zero results for the phrase “Groundskeeper Willie is sexy” OR “Groundskeeper Willie is hot.” Ah well. It’s nice to be unique.

Skinner: “Would the world judge me harshly if I threw away the key?”
Willie: “No. But the PTA would tear you a new arse.”
Skinner: “Wise councel, William. But the potty talk adds nothing. ”
Willie: “Aye sir, you bath-taking, underpants-wearing, lily-hugger.”

For more information on Willie, visit the amusing bio at Wikipedia.