ABC music video show Rage recently held a competition where you could win the chance to program the show. Contestants had to make a list of your top 20 videos along with reasons for choosing each song. The winner was to exhibit “style and panache” in their list.
I didn’t win. Neither did the other 3999 people who entered. Some 17 year old kid won it. Bastard.
Anyway, since I spent quite a bit of time making up my list (and had fun doing it), I thought I’d post it on my blog, with accompanying videos.
Spinal Tap – The Majesty Of Rock
Spinal Tap are the essential dose of irony that must be taken before any serious attempt at musical appreciation. This song is both timeless and yet very, very silly. Tap take everything that is wonderful – and awful – about rock and condense it all into this marvelous song and video. The jokes just keep on coming – the “guitar cam” shots, Nigel’s kilt, and the way Denis keeps raising his fist at Janis Joplin. Nowhere else in music will you hear the line “The farmer takes a wife, the barber takes a pole” sung as if it’s really poetry.
Roger Glover and Ronnie James Dio – Love Is All (Butterfly Ball)
This could well be the first music video I ever saw. The ABC used to play it just before the Goodies came on at 6pm. I may have been too young to watch Countdown, but never mind that – Aunty still successfully exposed me to this psychedelic animation created by Deep Purple’s bassist and accompanied by the voice of Black Sabbath. It took me a long time to realize the sleepy, clumsy lizards are actually pissed newts.
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Spiderbait – Run
And since I’m being nostalgic, I simply have to include Run. Spiderbait effortlessly channel The Goodies and embody the love felt for this TV show by my generation. I giggle all the way through this vid and it makes me want to sew up some purple flares and do a bit of fast-motion action myself.
Ween – Transdermal Celebration
This video freaks me out. Like clowns and roadside assistance vehicles, the animation here is inexplicably scary, yet it’s also a perfect visual representation of the song. I have no idea what the lyrics mean, which makes the whole package delightfully enigmatic. There’s also incredible pathos when the little kid wanders out, safe, only to be touched by the strangely euphoric aliens. The video leaves me with a tight throat every time I see it. Animation is by Australian Adam Phillips.
David Lee Roth – Just A Gigolo
Very few people in music embody a sense of fun as beautifully as David Lee Roth, and this video is the epitome of the irreverent, slightly Jewish humor that Dave perfected. Many people would say it’s daggy, and the song and video was a hugely expensive flop, but I just love it to bits. What’s more, this video is a perfect way of paying ironic homage to classic eighties songs without having to actually play them. Who can deny that seeing Billy Idol electrocuted by his own transformers is not hugely satisfying? And yes, I have been known to sing this song at karaoke while drunk.
Robbie Williams – Rock DJ
Did I mention that I like to see my male rock stars get naked? Here, Robbie takes it ALL off, although unfortunately they do pixel out the good bits. There’s something vaguely obscene about this video and I’m sure it could easily inspire a 4000 word essay about the sexual politics involved, but I still find it very amusing. At least Robbie is honest enough to admit he’s prepared to rip his own bum off to get attention.
Metallica – One
Memories… I’m sixteen, I’ve been drinking way too much West Coast Cooler, and I’m staying up late watching “just one more video” on Rage in the hope that One will come on. At the time, Metallica’s first ever video was worthy of reverence, what with all that black and white footage and scenes from an obscure war movie about a guy with a Chinese noodle box on his face. There’s also the gratifying spectacle of the guys thrashing away in the middle of a big empty, shadowy warehouse, all wide stances, curly hair and snarls. Yeah. Cool.
Alabama 3 – Woke Up This Morning
In 2000 our crazy record shop guy introduced my husband and I to a very strange album called Exhile on Coldharbour Lane by Alabama 3. It offered “sweet pretty country acid house music” and was sung by a British group who pretended to be Americans. It didn’t take long for us to become addicted. It’s still one of my most favourite albums, one I never tire of. We even scheduled our UK trip in 2005 around seeing the band in concert, and it was a truly memorable event. Woke Up This Morning is the hit that made them famous (thanks to the Sopranos) and it’s a good, solid song. The thing is, every song on that album is better. Alabama 3 are a huge talent and they’re sorely under-recognised.
System of a Down – Boom
A powerful reminder of just how many people were opposed to the Iraq war before it began. This protest song gives me hope that not everyone is as complacent as the media and governments would have us be.
Kate Bush – Babushka
Pure. Sex. That’s what this video represented to an impressionable seven year old looking for role models. I mean, look at her. That’s an image of feminine power; a rendering of the Goddess, sword and all. For a long time, I wanted to be Kate Bush.
Queen – I Want To Break Free
I could have chosen at least ten Queen songs, but this one gets the nod because it’s a fabulous mixture of everything Queen was about – satire, sex, over-the-top theatrics – and great music. Freddie wears the miniskirt well, but what really gets me is how good-looking Roger is when dressed as a school girl. He is, quite simply, a babe. Then there’s the whole bloated middle section with pretentious dancers in body suits and extended garden-of-eden metaphors. Not to mention that crotch closeup of a contortionist. Great fun.
Prince – Cream
Before he found Jehovah, Prince was the king of sex in pop music. Cream wasn’t his dirtiest song, but it was one of his biggest hits, and it still oozes glorious sensuality like an overripe mango. The video is sexy, plain and simple. I love the way the beautiful dancers in suspenders contrast with the huge physical mass of the drummer. And then there’s that line: “Look up in the air, it’s your guitar…” One can’t help but pause and ponder the impossible size of the universe… before going back to humping the couch.
AC/DC – It’s a Long Way to the Top
A truck. A pipe band. And Bon Scott. End of story.
Fat Boy Slim – Weapon of Choice
Christopher Walken proves that if you can successfully combine dancing with creepiness, it makes you fly.
The Darkness – I Believe In A Thing Called Love
So much to love here. There’s the white unitard, the 70s ‘tash, the wall of amps and the giant squid. And then there’s Justin Hawkin’s arse. Poetry.
Sick Puppies – All The Same (Free Hugs)
I wasn’t going to include this because it seems a bit… obvious. But if we’re talking about influential music videos, I think this is one deserves a gong. It’s proof of the power of new media and the breakdown of the old methods of music distribution. Sick Puppies had a huge hit thanks to YouTube; they successfully got their song and their message out without relying on standard methods, and I think it’s really encouraging for the future of music. And it’s a very watchable video too. Soppy, yes, but very difficult to ignore.
Aerosmith – Janie’s Got A Gun
Pump was the soundtrack of my last year at school, and I’ve long been a fan of Aerosmith. It was difficult to choose a single video but I went with this one because it has a message behind it. The song broke a taboo in addressing child abuse and I think it was an important song for people trying to deal with that issue. At the same time Joe Perry, guest programming on Rage in 1991 (I think), said it was really about gun control in the US, and a protest against people using violence as revenge. That’s a lot to pack into one song but Aerosmith do it perfectly here.
Madonna – Beautiful Stranger
Gotta have a Madonna song. I choose this one because she rubs her bum on Mike Myers’ face.
Weezer – Island in the Sun (Spike Jonze Version)
OK, I’m a sucker for this one. Somebody buy me a baby monkey, please.
Sting – Englishman In New York
I am a Sting fan. This is something one is not supposed to admit in polite circles. I was actually hesitating including a Sting song in this list because I thought it might mean I don’t meet the requisite “style and panache” as required by the competition guidelines. And then I thought: to hell with it. “Be yourself, no matter what they say.” If you need a reason to appreciate it, may I draw your attention to Branford Marsalis’ gorgeous, wandering saxophone, Kenny Kirkland’s sublime keyboards and the legendary Quentin Crisp. “If I have one ambition… it’s to meet everybody in the world before I die.”