{"id":840,"date":"2008-07-01T22:02:51","date_gmt":"2008-07-01T12:02:51","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.msnaughty.com\/blog\/?p=840"},"modified":"2008-07-01T22:02:51","modified_gmt":"2008-07-01T12:02:51","slug":"why-women-hate-porn-and-why-they-like-it","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/msnaughty.com\/blog\/2008\/07\/01\/why-women-hate-porn-and-why-they-like-it\/","title":{"rendered":"“Why Women Hate Porn” (And Why They Like It)"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"PornThe Ask Sam blog at the Sydney Morning Herald has published this post<\/a> entitled “Why Women Hate Porn.”<\/p>\n

Unfortunately the article doesn’t actually discuss the whys and wherefores of any negative female reactions to porn. Rather it points out recent statistics that one in three Australian women regularly watch porn. And then the author asserts that women have taken up porn watching because it’s trendy, or because they want to please men (as this Salon blog post<\/a> suggests). <\/p>\n

I can’t help but think this is a huge wasted opportunity to discuss women and porn, squandered on a few vague generalisations and the blanket statement that “what we need is more foreplay, more romance, more kissing after sex and more (gasp!) story line.”<\/p>\n

If 25-30% of women are looking at porn regularly, that still leaves a lot of women who aren’t so keen. I thought I’d whack together a quick, simple and numbered list of suggestions as to why some women don’t like porn<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

1. The vast majority of porn is made for a male audience. It depicts male fantasies and focuses on male pleasure. Female viewers aren’t acknowledged as an audience.<\/p>\n

2. Mainstream porn is often unrealistic and divorced from situations in which everyday women experience sex. It’s also increasingly focused on sex acts that aren’t normative. A simple example: anal sex is standard in today’s porn, but an awful lot of women aren’t so keen on butt sex (and when you consider that in porn butt sex is usually portrayed as painful or cruel, it’s not surprising).<\/p>\n

3. The performers in mainstream porn can be alienating and\/or unappealing to women. Fake tits, blond hair, no cellulite, no pubic hair… Porn actresses can make women feel self conscious about their bodies. They may also find it hard to empathise with the female stars, which can make watching porn less appealing. And male porn stars can be seriously unattractive or downright creepy.<\/p>\n

4. Mainstream porn can have an element of sexism or misogyny involved e.g. the reality sites where women are “tricked” into sex and derided. Even the language of porn (“slut, bitch, whore”<\/a>) is not encouraging to women who enjoy sex. It upholds the old dichotomies of virgin\/whore; women are simultaneously valued and despised because they have sex.<\/p>\n

5. There’s still plenty of uncertainty about where porn fits into a relationship. A lot of women feel threatened by their man’s use of porn. There’s a concern that fantasy will make reality less appealing.<\/p>\n

6. Some women are concerned that porn is warping men’s idea of good sex, making them expect sex acts that may be unusual or demeaning or unpleasurable for the woman. They feel it misleads men into thinking women will act or think a certain way, one that doesn’t reflect reality.<\/p>\n

7. Our Western\/Christian society is still very anti-sex and anti-pleasure. Beyond those women who are religiously opposed to porn, there’s still a cultural resistance to the idea of “the prurient interest.” Porn is dirty, uncivilised, unladylike and should be spurned.<\/p>\n

I’m sure there are other reasons, but that’s a good start. And I realise there are plenty of generalisations and assumptions going on there. There’s no science behind what I’ve written, just speculation. Indeed, there needs to be heaps more research into this whole thing.<\/p>\n

So, to be fair, I’m going to make a list of reasons as to why some women DO like porn<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

1. It’s good masturbation material.<\/p>\n

2. It can inspire new sexual fantasies that can be used to spice up a relationship. <\/p>\n

3. Watching it with a partner can be a form of foreplay.<\/p>\n

4. It can inspire a desire to experiment with new ideas in bed (although porn as sex education is never a good idea).<\/p>\n

5. Purely for entertainment.<\/p>\n

Hmmm, now I make that list, I suspect those are the same reasons why men watch porn.<\/p>\n

And interesting that the reasons against are so complicated but the reasons for it are simple.<\/p>\n

As a feminist pornographer, I’m can see both the positive and negative aspects of porn. I know I can defend the idea of sexually explicit material while still being critical of the many problems associated with porn. I never want to see this in black and white. Porn is problematic, no doubt about that. Indeed, if porn was perfect, I’d probably still be working as a librarian now. <\/p>\n

It’s my desire to make it better that inspires me. Porn doesn’t have to be crappy. Women shouldn’t have to hate it.<\/strong> It’s not going to go away any time soon so we should be aiming to make it better, more realistic, more inclusive, more engaging, more erotic, more intimate and, yes, sexier.<\/p>\n

That’s why I make porn.<\/p>\n

Pic: From Postsecret<\/a><\/p>\n

Edit: Jezebel has a good post on this topic here<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The Ask Sam blog at the Sydney Morning Herald has published this post entitled “Why Women Hate Porn.” Unfortunately the article doesn’t actually discuss the whys and wherefores of any negative female reactions to porn. Rather it points out recent statistics that one in three Australian women regularly watch porn. And then the author asserts that women have taken up porn watching because it’s trendy, or because they want to Read More …<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[10,14,16,23],"tags":[915,621,632,919,856],"class_list":["post-840","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-hot-pics","category-porn","category-porn-movies","category-sex-and-women","tag-porn","tag-porn-for-women","tag-pornography","tag-sexuality","tag-women"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/msnaughty.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/840","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/msnaughty.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/msnaughty.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/msnaughty.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/msnaughty.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=840"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/msnaughty.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/840\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/msnaughty.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=840"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/msnaughty.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=840"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/msnaughty.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=840"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}