{"id":129,"date":"2006-07-20T22:38:34","date_gmt":"2006-07-20T12:38:34","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.msnaughty.com\/blog\/2006\/07\/20\/requisite-post-about-johnny-depps-shagability\/"},"modified":"2006-07-20T22:38:34","modified_gmt":"2006-07-20T12:38:34","slug":"requisite-post-about-johnny-depps-shagability","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/msnaughty.com\/blog\/2006\/07\/20\/requisite-post-about-johnny-depps-shagability\/","title":{"rendered":"Requisite Post About Johnny Depp’s Shagability"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Johnny
\nI saw Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest<\/em> today. And, naturally, I concur with almost every other female blogger on the planet: Johnny Depp is extraordinarily shagable as Captain Jack Sparrow.<\/p>\n

Is it the dreadlocks? The bandanna? The twin beard? The slightly sozzled air? I suspect it’s the heavy eyeliner, which not only highlights his rather nice eyes, but suggests a certain gothic, romantic sensibility.<\/p>\n

The Cunting Linguist<\/a> asks:<\/p>\n

How many hours \u00e2\u20ac\u201c three, four, a thousand, more? \u00e2\u20ac\u201c would it take to finally reach the Caribbean, where I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m sure to not only find Captain Jack Sparrow, but seduce him?<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

How many indeed?<\/p>\n

This second movie has suggestions of a love triangle between Jack, Elizabeth and Will, which naturally prompted all sorts of imagined threesome scenarios not suitable for a Disney movie. What girl wouldn’t wish to be sandwiched between Depp and Orlando Bloom, careless of pirate-related personal hygiene issues?<\/p>\n

And then I read this review<\/a> in Rolling Stone which suggested that Captain Jack Sparrow is bisexual.<\/p>\n

Ooh, get me my smelling salts.<\/p>\n

I might as well post a link to naked photos<\/a> of Johnny Depp, just for titillation, although I’m sure that butt is not the same as Captain Jack’s.<\/p>\n

And I might as well rehash some of my post<\/a> about the idea of Johnny Depp appearing in a porn movie, with a few more title suggestions:<\/p>\n

Who’s Eating Out Mrs Grape?
\nChocolat Lubricant
\nEd’s Wood
\nDon Juan Demarco Does Dallas
\nScrew The Astronaut’s Wife… Please
\nFinding Nippleland
\nBlow
\nBeer and No Clothing in Las Vegas
\nSleepy Swallow
\nand of course, he’d have to be in the remake of that all time classic, Edward Penishands.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I saw Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest today. And, naturally, I concur with almost every other female blogger on the planet: Johnny Depp is extraordinarily shagable as Captain Jack Sparrow. Is it the dreadlocks? The bandanna? The twin beard? The slightly sozzled air? I suspect it’s the heavy eyeliner, which not only highlights his rather nice eyes, but suggests a certain gothic, romantic sensibility. The Cunting Linguist asks: Read More …<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[13,23],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-129","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-popular-culture","category-sex-and-women"],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t