Cunnilingus

Cunnilingus is the act of giving oral sex to a woman. It involves licking and sucking the clitoris and labia. In slang terms it's known as muff diving, pussy licking or cunt licking.

For many women, cunnilingus is the best method for attaining orgasm, far outstripping intercourse. A survey in Cosmopolitan in 1996 revealed that 90% of women wanted men to give them cunnilingus. Unfortunately many women still feel reluctant to ask for it, as they may feel embarrassed to have such intimate attention paid to their genitals. This is due to a general cultural shame and disdain for the vulva and clitoris.

Interestingly, a large number of men find the idea of performing cunnilingus on a woman to be extremely arousing. Writer Dylan Edwards wrote enthusiastically about what he and his friends called "Snacking". And author Ian Kerner has released a book devoted to pleasing women, including a section called The Cunnilinguist Manifesto. Kerner is arguing that society needs to stop focusing on intercourse and instead make cunnilingus the main focus of sex.

In porn, cunnilingus performed by a man is relatively rare. While it does appear in photos and movies, it usually lasts a very short amount of time. Most cunnilingus - or "muff diving" - is performed by other women in pseudo-lesbian scenes. Unfortunately, this means that porn's message about the status of cunnilingus in sex is very negative. Porn tells us that men shouldn't "lower themselves" to go down; that's it's really only something lesbians do.

In a way it's indicative of cunnilingus' second class status in the world of sex. There are hundreds of slang terms for fellatio, but only about 20 for cunnilingus.

Sadly, a lot of teenagers today increasingly see oral sex as not being "real sex" (and therefore something they can do AND keep their virginity). According to Seventeen magazine, 55% of teens have had oral sex. Perhaps disturbingly, those on the receiving end are invariably boys. Aside from the various ethical considerations, this statistic means that young women are still being misinformed about the role of cunnilingus in sex. They're still being indoctrinated into the idea that the penis is the focus of sex, and that penetration is the ultimate goal, whether they themselves reach orgasm or not.

Women the world over will undoubtedly agree: it's about time female orgasms were a guaranteed part of sex. The sooner cunnilingus can become the main focus of sex, the better.

Cunnilingus Tips

* Occasionally make your tongue really flat when you lick
* Make sure the area is well lubricated.
* Write the alphabet with your tongue.
* Try using an Altoid mint - the menthol will stimulate the vulval membranes and make them tingle.
* Don't go too fast at the beginning.
* Remember, it's the CLITORIS that really matters here. Still, don't neglect other areas of the vulva - suck the labia, poke your tongue into her vagina, lick the whole thing, suck occasionally. But don't neglect the clit.

The Cunnilingus category at Ms Naughty Links

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