Advice for Aspiring Male Porn Performers

Every now and then I get an email from a guy asking how he can get into porn, specifically my porn. A lot of them are Indian, which is a little perplexing as I have no idea how they’ve discovered me or found my contact details, but plenty are from the US, UK and Australia. I know many of my porn director friends get the same thing. My friend and fellow feminist director Anna Brownfield has regaled me with amusing stories about her experiences with aspiring actors, along with horror stories of stalky behaviour by would-be-studs with no concept of boundaries.

I have a page on my Indigo Lush film site where I give details about casting but I feel the need to write a much longer piece giving advice to those guys who are super-keen for a career in porn.

I totally get why guys want to appear in porn. It seems like the perfect job: you get to fuck beautiful women for money, right? And (in theory) there’s no real social stigma attached for men like there is for women. Indeed, the average guy might assume that he’d be considered a stud and lauded for his sexual prowess. The reality is very different.

Being a straight male porn star requires a very specific set of skills. At a very basic level these skills are:

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• Develop and maintain an erection for a suspended period of time.
• Do this in the presence of your co-star, who you may not be attracted to.
• Get naked, get an erection and have sex in front of a bunch of strangers such as the camera operator, the sound person, the production assistant and the lighting crew. Most of whom would just like to go home as soon as possible. There’s also the director who wants certain shots and who is also keen to get the scene done as quickly and efficiently as possible because every second is costing money (equipment hire, location hire, crew hire etc).
• Have sex in numerous positions that may not be particularly comfortable, in places that may not be particularly comfortable e.g. on a cold floor under hot lights.
• Have an orgasm on cue and not before.

To put it another way: could you, potential straight male porn star, get hard and jerk off in front of a group of other men you don’t know – say, several large bearded members of a motorcycle club – then come on cue and then do it again ten minutes later? If that sounds difficult, you might want to reconsider your ambitions. (If it sounds easy, you might want to reconsider your sexual orientation.) But the fact is – even if you have the most gorgeous female co-star to have sex with and all the crew are female – it’s still going to feel pretty damned weird and impersonal and unsexy.

You may also need to be willing to take drugs like Viagra or use Caverject (which involves injecting erectile drugs directly into your penis with a large needle) to maintain a trustworthy erection. It happens on porn sets far more than you’d imagine. I actually recommend you read the blogs of Danny Wylde and Tyler Knight to read their personal experiences of the hardships of porn.

I have a larger set of expectations for my feminist, female-friendly porn. In fact, the way that I work is very different to the Porn Valley industry and, while I may offer a slightly more comfortable work environment, I still have my own requirements.

So, any potential male star in my films will need to fit some or all of these criteria:

• Firstly and most importantly, you must be feminist, sex positive and respectful. Your attitude to the work is vitally important to me. If you think that porn is just about “fucking sluts” then I have no time for you and you should look elsewhere. I want men who are keen to create something positive when they make porn; they need to be on board with my ethics and my philosophy. This means being open-minded about sexuality, being eager to try different ideas on set and being prepared to be presented in a personal way that is different to your typical porn style.
• Be OK with the idea of masturbating. I do a lot of solo scenes. Or…
• Be part of a real-life couple and have a willing partner.  Or…
• If you need a partner to perform, you need to bring her along. At present I do not pair up random individuals; I prefer to let the female model make her own choice as to partner.
• Be skilled in bed. I’m talking about knowing your way around a woman’s body and knowing how best to give her pleasure. Female pleasure and orgasms are very important in my porn and I need male stars who can make the female stars happy.
• Be ready to have safe sex. That means having a very current STI test, a willingness to wear condoms or else a fluid-bonded partner.
• Be attractive. Not necessarily in a standard way but you would need a certain je ne sai quoi. What can I say, I’m shallow and I am partial to eye candy.
• Have some kind of acting ability. You may not need to recite Shakespeare but I do require my performers to be comfortable in front of a camera and to be able to set up a scene in a believable way.
• You do still need to get and maintain an eaction in front of strangers (me and my large and hairy husband who operates the camera). I may not require external cumshots but the fact remains that this is filmed sex and erections are required a lot of the time. I do not have any Viagra.

So… a few other bits of advice.

DO…

• Send a respectful email (with a subject header) introducing yourself. Tell me where you are located, why you want to get into porn, what experience you have, whether you have a partner etc
• Ensure you send photos with the email – nude full body shots making sure I can see your face. It helps if the photos are nicely composed and well lit, preferably shot with a real camera, not a selfie on an iPhone. I will keep these photos and your details confidential
• Provide good contact details and information as to when you might be available
• Let me know that you’re actually familiar with my work.
• Let me know what kind of sex acts you are willing to do. Hint: if you are interested in more than just straight boy-girl vaginal sex you are more likely to be hired.
• Provide information about your performance fee, if you have one, and any other requirements.

DON’T…

• Send a one-line email asking me how to get into porn, signed only with your first name
• Send dick pictures. Just don’t. It’s creepy and unhelpful.
• Assume a large penis is all you need. For me, having a big dick is interesting but not nearly as important as your overall look and your attitude.
• Assume that I will be pairing you up with gorgeous porn stars and all you need to do is turn up. That’s now how I work.
• Assume that the porn shoot will be some kind of swinger orgy or that I will be part of the scene. I am a married, monogamous woman who shoots porn for a living. I take my work seriously. I am not fantasy material and I am not a fluffer.
• Don’t assume there are fluffers. There aren’t. You need to be your own fluffer. Actually, if you can do that, I’ll hire you.
• Keep hassling me for work. If I have you on the list, I’ll contact you when I need you. And if I’ve said no, I mean it.

Essentially, be aware that there are thousands of men out there who want to be porn stars but there are very few who can actually do it. Even so, there are opportunities there for the right guy. Approach this as you would a “real” job – have your CV ready, be prepared to be polite and engaging and to do what your employer wants.

Also, be aware that the porn industry isn’t exactly overflowing with money right now. In fact, piracy has meant that there’s not nearly as much work going around as there used to be. So even if you tick all the boxes, there may not be a job for you right now.

Finally, know that appearing in porn is a major life decision and you should be totally OK with the consequences if you do it. As much as we sex-positive people wish it were otherwise, porn still has stigma attached to it – even for guys. Once your image is out there, it’s out there forever. There is no way that you can get it back. If you stop doing porn down the track it may well still cause issues later on with employers or people you meet. I prefer to work with performers who are confident with their choice to do porn and who will feel proud of what they have done – and for my part I do my utmost to present their performances with the respect they deserve.

So… you still want to be a porn star? Well then, email me and maybe, just maybe, we can work together.

PS I do recommend Danny Wylde’s post on aspiring male porn stars here.

Edit: 23 January 2014: A US performer advocacy group has created this amazing instructional video called “Porn 101”. It gives a basic rundown of everything you need to know to become a porn star. It’s specific to the US industry but it is very useful. I recommend you watch it.