In Praise Of Rock N Roll Spandex

Last week I went to see Aerosmith, the band whose album PUMP was the soundtrack to my teenage years. I had a fantastic time and naturally stood in awe of the way that 65-year-old Steven Tyler can still do the moves (and not fall off the stage too much). So then I was watching their videos on Youtube and generally admiring the tight pants and spandex much favoured by Tyler.

I’ve already done a piece glorying in revealing spandex called The Top Ten Heavy Metal Crotches. But I thought I’d do another post because, well, spandex.

The 70s and 80s were a time when it was entirely necessary for male rock stars to let the audience know exactly which side you dressed on. And as an officially licensed admirer of the male form, I like that. I wish it would come back. Because the idea of the over-the-top male sex symbol has faded from music a little. It’s either Justin Bieber or Snoop Dog (or whatever animal he is now). While music videos may depict male stars as being irresistible to women, they don’t actually bother to be appealing to women in an overtly sexy way.

I suspect I’m showing my age with that comment, but there it is. And perhaps today’s young whippersnappers really don’t get it… I mean, there’s actually a question on Quora asking “why did rock stars of the 70s and 80s wear such tight pants?”

In any case, here’s some photos of hot rock and roll men in spandex and tight pants. Just because.

David Lee Roth

Pic above from here
Pic above from here

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The Van Halen singer is quite simply the king of spandex. There are so many images of him rocking out in tight pants that it’s hard to choose which one to feature. The man not only unashamedly wore spandex and leather arseless pants, he also did acrobatics in the process. For more DLR greatness, check the photos on this page. Or Google “David Lee Roth spandex” and sit back in wonder.

Robert Plant

Above pic from here

The lead singer of Led Zeppelin certainly knew how to wear a pair of tight denim flares. Without fail, you’re pretty much able to make out all the details of his tackle in almost every photo of him. Perhaps it helped him hit all those high notes.

Steven Tyler

Pic above is from here

Steve was a huge fan of spandex in the 80s and he’s still inclined to wear very tight pants, if last week’s concert was anything to go by. I had to put up this pic in which spandex is masterfully combined with suspenders and fishnet across the bum to create a truly impressive outfit.

Jon Bon Jovi

Both pics above from here.

The lead singer of Bon Jovi looks exceedingly fetching in his Wanted Dead Or Alive leather pants. And he was definitely a fan of exceedingly tight jeans, including those with corset-style flies that may have made access rather difficult (see this pic).

Bruce Dickinson

Pic above is from this page.

Iron Maiden’s lead singer scaled the heights of spandex in the 80s, gadding about in a wide variety of spiffy tights. His habit of putting one foot on the speakers meant those in the first row often got a special groinal view that no doubt enhanced the drama of the moment.

Michael Hutchence

The lead singer of INXS modelled himself after Jim Morrison, including the wearing of tight leather pants. That both died young does not necessarily mean that tight leather pants are deadly, though obviously one must be very careful when tucking ones bits into body-hugging trousers.

And of course…

Spinal Tap

“We’ve got Armadillos in our trousers. It’s really quite frightening.”

Pic from here

Nigel pic from here