Penis Spines? No Thanks!

A penis. A gratuitous penis shotHere’s a fun fact for you to bring up next time you’re inebriated and want to raise a strange topic at a dinner party: men don’t have penis spines.

That is to say, the penises of human males differ from our nearest genetic relatives, the chimpanzees, because there are no “tactile” spines or barbs on the end that induce female ovulation and clear out the sperm of other males. Chimps have these spines, as do plenty of other mammals like cats.

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Researchers have found that sometime in the last million years, human DNA changed. Parts of it were “deleted” and those parts included the code to make penis spines. According to The Guardian, penis spines speed ejaculation. Losing them “nurtured monogamous couples and paved the way for more complex social structures.”

As a woman, can I just say: thanks, evolution, for deleting the penis spines. I’ve seen cats get stuck together and I really don’t like the mental image that emerges from the thought of human penis spines. Of course, the researchers say the spines are just “tiny, hair-like projections” (quote from Wired) but I’ll pass on them just the same.

By the way, I hope you like the illustration I’ve used for this post (above). It’s a shame that news outlets never use dick photos when discussing dicks. Every news item I’ve seen on this opted for photos of chimps. I did, however, go Googling for images of penis spines (the cat ones are awful) and found this image on a message board discussing the story:

Cactus penis