Paddling The Pink Canoe


Here it is, the little film that kept me very preoccupied last week.

“Paddling The Pink Canoe” is a fun look at euphemisms for female masturbation. There are 44 individual slang terms used in the video. If you want the full list, visit the Pink Canoe page at FTG.

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I originally only intended to make a short 30 second fun video as a promo for For The Girls but then things started to escalate. I felt like I needed more, so I scanned existing lists of euphemisms for filmable options. The shot list kept growing.

And then I went shopping for props. I went on an exhaustive but unrewarded search for a toy beaver. I found a paper lily but spent two hours looking for gold paint. We couldn’t find a clam at any of the seafood shops or supermarkets so in the end I used a shell from a local river shellfish (and we had rather a lot of fun sticking eyes and a beard on it). I also got very artistic when painting a taco pink and nearly crashed the car looking for signs with a “Y” on them.

After a while my husband and I became slightly deranged, always on the lookout for something euphemistic that we could use. We started to see masturbation everywhere.

The pink canoe was the biggest challenge. I had originally planned to use a toy boat but… well, do you think I could find one? I really didn’t expect to find a real pink canoe but, as luck would have it, a local kayak operator had just got one in the previous day. It was kind of weird to ring up and ask if he had a pink canoe, but he was very cool about the whole thing and even gave us a few euphemism suggestions of his own. I realise that a kayak is NOT a canoe, but we make do with what we can.

Yes, those are corned beef curtains, not ham. We obviously couldn’t do a full sized pair of curtains so a friend helped out with a doll’s house from their shed. That bit is probably the most over-the-top part of the video, but by crikey we giggled a lot when filming it.

So there it is. Not the most professional of movies but a bit of fun. If you like it, please tell your friends!

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