Why Dicks Look Like… Well, Dicks

Dick picScientific American has a wonderful article on the evolutionary biology of the human penis, related in a very humourous fashion by writer Jesse Bering.

A couple of quotes:

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Having spent the first five years of my academic life studying great ape social cognition, I’ve seen more simian penises than I care to mention. I once spent a summer with a 450-pound silverback gorilla that was hung like a wasp (great guy, though) and baby-sat a lascivious young orangutan that liked to insert his penis in just about anything with a hole, which unfortunately one day included my ear…

First, despite variation in size between individuals, the erect human penis is especially large compared to that of other primates, measuring on average between five and six inches in length and averaging about five inches in circumference. (Often in this column I’ll relate the science at hand to my own experiences, but perhaps this particular piece is best written without my normally generous use of anecdotes.) Even the most well-endowed chimpanzee, the species that is our closest living relative, doesn’t come anywhere near this.

If you’ve ever wanted to know why dicks look the way they do, this is the place to find out.

It’s also worth reading to discover how researchers made use of store-bought sex toys to prove the “upsuck” theory of sperm displacement. I love that idea, although no doubt it would send some prudes into conniptions about the “waste of taxpayers money”.

Bonus, you also get a recipe for fake semen:

The recipe “consisted of 0.08 cups of sifted, white, unbleached flour mixed with 1.06 cups of water. This mixture was brought to a boil, simmered for 15 minutes while being stirred, and allowed to cool.”

I LOVE science.

Now, are you closely studying the penis photo and identifying the coronal ridge? Good girls!

Thanks to Violet Blue for the link.