Dolphins Can Be “Sexually Misdirected”

Evil dolphinA few months ago I had a wonderful experience when I went swimming with a pod of dolphins in an ocean channel. Since then I’ve discovered it was a bit of a foolish activity as the water was very murky and there could have easily been bull sharks in the canal.

And now I read this article, which says that dolphins have been known to injure people swimming with them. Not only that, but they tend to get sexually confused:

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Nearly half of the dolphins in this study had misdirected sexual behaviour towards humans, maritime buoys and anything else floating in the water.

The authors of The Book of Animal Ignorance describe “mis-directed sexual behaviour” very nicely.

“Given that an average male bottlenose weighs 40 stone (about 250 kg, or one quarter of a tonne) and has a foot-long, solid muscle penis that ends in a prehensile hook agile enough to catch an eel, you wouldn’t want to give off the wrong signals.”

Eeek!

You know, all those documentaries that show dolphins being cute and smart never seem to mention the foot long prehensile hooked penis that can catch eels. Even the discussions of homosexual behaviour among dolphins never went into that bit. I wonder why.

This amusing blog post discusses the idea of dolphins molesting humans. It’s also got a fantasy-style illustration of a woman getting it on with a dolphin. Now I know about the hook thing… blergh.