The newspapers seem to have gone into a gurgling meltdown this week over the upcoming Sex and The City Movie. Which prompts me to rant.
Me and Sex and The City were not friends. It pissed me off. I think I only managed to watch a couple of episodes before I gave up in frustration.
Sure, it was nice to have a show that talked so openly about sex, but I just had no time for any of the female characters. I had no empathy with them, no central point of reference. These single, shoe-obsessed, cocktail drinking city women seemed exactly like the kind of Cosmopolitan chicks I gave up on years ago. They seemed horribly self-obsessed, too thin and kind of vapid. Their relationships with men were shallow and painful to watch.
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So I found it increasingly frustrating when SATC become a standard media signifier for the “liberation of women’s sexuality.” Every article and TV show saw the series as a zeitgeist, something that all young women loved. The four main female characters were women we were supposed to admire.
The thing is this: I don’t live in a city. I don’t lust after high heel shoes, go on diets or drink expensive cocktails. I actually drink chardonnay and wear pyjamas to work (though not necessarily at the same time). I don’t spend hours complaining that my date was “too nice” because I’m happily married to the nicest, most wonderful man in the world. And I am perfectly sexually liberated, thank you very much.
And now it’s all back, with extra plastic surgery on top. And the media will soon be making the same statements about “post feminism” (ugh) and how it’s OK for women to have a vibrator because it was on Sex and The City. Sigh.
The other thing is this: Sarah Jessica Parker… what happened? I used to put her on my teenage lists of coolest ever girls, back when she had a big nose and starred in ditzy 80s movies like Girls Just Want To Have Fun. God I loved that movie when I was 13. It was Dirty Dancing before anyone knew who Patrick Swayze was. Sarah and Helen Hunt were just it on a stick to me and I used to dream of going on Dance TV and winning the competition and the gorgeous hunk’s heart. (Cue big dreamy girly sigh).
You know, when So You Think You Can Dance started I actually found myself thinking of that movie, musing that it was only 20 years too late for me.
You know what else? I’ve successfully turned this angry rant into a trip down memory lane. Time to go and drink some chardonnay…
Wow! I must say I am kind of shocked by your reaction to a show I still love! But, at least you make a more reasoned argument than most.
Maybe it is a cultural thing. Maybe it is different in your country, but here in America, women lusting after men and enjoying sex for the sake of sex is very much taboo. People still constantly deride Samantha’s character as a “whore, not worthy of respect!” Yes, I actually heard that said on a mainstream American radio station recently.
Even the supposed ‘sex-positive’ community in America seems to be a place where men are offered strippers and hookers while women are only offered written ‘erotica’ and battery operated devices to satisfy our desires. Those of us women who like to look and lust after men are basically ignored.
Which brings me to a similar point: American-based sex-blogs don’t even link to your site! Violet Blue’s site is the only exception I have found, but that link appears to be a paid ad. Is it?
I never had a problem with the fact that the women in SATC wanted to have a lot of sex. It was more that their characters didn’t ever resonate with me. And I couldn’t accept their treatment of men as though they were another species. I’ve never been on board with that “Mars and Venus” nonsense, nor the kind of stuff that is peddled in Cosmo. The whole show just seemed like the TV version of Cosmo to me.
As to who isn’t linking to me… I guess that’s a personal decision for those bloggers. Violet’s link to FTG is an affiliate link, which I’m very pleased to have 🙂
I totally see your point! You are the one critic of Sex & the City I will give a pass to, since you provide a wonderful alternative for us ladies who want to ogle hot men!
Which brings me to my second point about linkage to your site. I’m just dismayed that not only is there little visual content for ‘straight’ women, what is out there should be much easier to find! I have spent almost 2 years digging through hundreds of sex blogs, but all I find is written erotica, sex toys, and naked chicks!
I’ve found the sex bloggers are in their own league. The written word is where they’re at. But I’ve also found that there’s a general dismissal about the idea that straight women might enjoy visual content. We’re either shunted off into the “gay” category like on Fleshbot or given naked women because it’s assumed everyone finds nude women beautiful. There’s very little acknowledgement that nude men can be arousing.
There’s also a disdain for vanilla sex and a continuing idea that “porn for women” equals flowers, romance and soft focus. I’ve seen a certain amount of, dare I say it, “macho” opinions about that kind of erotica, like it’s not good enough, that women who might enjoy that stuff are somehow inferior. For The Girls seems to get shunted into that kind of category by some.
I like my romance, I also like my hardcore, I’m partial to a bit of queer or kinky sex. FTG is primarily straight vanilla because, well, there’s a huge market for that but we do dabble in the other good stuff too. Nonetheless, some bloggers may consider the site to be “too mainstream” for their taste. That’s fine. There should be room for all of us.