My Visit To Sexpo Brisbane 2008

A blow up doll presides over the Sexpo stage.Last Friday on a whim I decided to attend Sexpo in Brisbane, hoping to maybe make some industry contacts and also just to check it all out. I last went to one of these mega sex exhibitions in Sydney ten years ago, back when I was a “civilian.” That expedition was part of the growing curiousity about sex and the adult industry that led me to write for Australian Women’s Forum and an eventual career as a smut mongerer. I thought it might be interesting to view the whole thing as an insider this time.

We paid $22 each to get in and were confronted with topless women and buffed male strippers at the door handing out flyers. Inside the cavernous hall was a giant stage surrounded by bleachers and a growing crowd. Beyond that were the various exhibitor stalls, with the porn stars lined up down the back near the gerbil-themed rollercoaster.

We’d barely arrived before the chocolate licking competition started onstage. I must admit, it seemed a bit try-hard and I suspect that two of the contestants were professionals there to make up the numbers. Still, it seemed to make people happy. The winners were a flirtatiously big-breasted amateur and her female companion who made short work of the choc sauce.

The audience seemed to be largely made up of couples, with a healthy smattering of girly groups, all clinging together and giggling. Indeed, I’d say that there were more women than men at this event. The gangs of younger, sniggering men were well outnumbered by average, everyday people.

We roamed the stalls, checking out the various sex toys, lingerie and personal services on offer. The “Everything $10” stand was doing a roaring trade, despite the fact that they were selling some seriously dubious “novelty” items and awful jelly dildoes. Indeed, most sex toy sellers weren’t offering anything too new or worthy, just the same old thing in different packaging. You could go home with a $20 showbag and choose your own vibrator, but I didn’t buy anything.

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There were some higher-quality toys on offer. The ladies at D.Vice did have a nice range of silicon and rechargeable toys and it seems they design some of their own dildoes which is great.

The headline porn stars were down the back signing autographs and posing for paid photos with eager guys. I wanted to meet both Belladonna and Dana DeArmond, especially since the latter was in Tristan Taormino’s Chemistry, but in the end I didn’t line up with the crowd. They were there to look sexy and scribble their names for gawking male fans, not to meet someone who is more interested in what they have to say. Nope, there was no time to have a serious discussion about their jobs or the role of women in the adult industry. Ah well.

I ended up having a chat with the guys from Sex Machines Australia, one of whom was menacing passersby with a large machine-gun dildo that resembled “The Anal Intruder” from Top Secret. These blokes are selling their own vibrating/fucking machines that are similar to the Sybian and they invited me to try, but I was washing my hair that second. They’re also in the process of setting up a membership site similar to Fucking Machines. I wished them luck with it.

Pricasso was also there, painting happily with his penis and amusing the crowd. His self-portrait didn’t make it into the Archibald Prize, unfortunately, but he has got an advertising contract on the cards. I’m hoping to interview him for FTG soon.

One of the first stalls I went to was Bad Boys Australia, which is a male strip troupe, and I asked if I could photograph their performance later and use it on For The Girls, maybe with an interview. I received a fairly disinterested response. These guys make their money charging women for photos and they weren’t keen on me wielding a camera around for free. In the end I gave up. Seen one male strip show, seen ’em all.

The thing that DID get my attention was the BDSM area run by The Hellfire Club. There a clothed woman was roped to a cross and being flogged by a biker-looking type wearing leather pants and a plait in his red beard. Nearby a man was kneeling in stocks, being paddled by a cheerful, long haired mistress.

Soon the flogging finished and the biker asked if there was anyone who wanted to give it a go.

I volunteered.

I explained to the man that I was doing it for research. “I run a few porn sites,” I said, “and this should be fun to write about. I’ve never done this before.”

“Wait,” he said, raising his eyebrows. “You run porn sites but you’ve never done bondage? Why not?”

I couldn’t really give him an answer beyond “Well, it’s just not something that I do.” It sounded kind of lame, to be honest.

Anyway, I did it and the experience was… interesting. I’m going to write about it for For The Girls so if you want to know more, you’ll just have to join. I’m also planning on visiting the Hellfire Club, just to satisfy my curiousity. And yes, I’ll write about that too.

I missed most of the male strip show thanks to the BDSM area, but I don’t think I missed much.

After all that, we cruised the stalls a bit more, admiring some of the nice corsetry from the House of Fetish. But in the end I was a bit of a cheapskate. I bought a hat for ten bucks.

We strolled off into the balmy night, relatively pleased with our visit. Sexpo wasn’t hugely sexy, I’ll say that. It had a certain naive charm, as Frank n Furter would say, but there was something of a clinical, slightly tacky atmosphere to the whole thing. It’s definitely designed for the nervous first-time sex toy consumer rather than someone like me.

Part of the problem, of course, is due to the various censorship and zoning laws that prevent people from selling X-rated videos or engaging in nudity or actual sex on site. Sexpo wasn’t allowed to be truly sexy, and – despite the best efforts of the Eros Association and its petition stall – I don’t think that can change any time soon.

As I wandered around Southbank I found myself eyeing off people’s shopping bags, wondering what goodies were inside, trying to spot the Sexpo attendees. Fact is, they could have been anyone. Sexpo shows us that average, everyday people are becoming more relaxed about their sexuality. “Community standards” are to the point that porn and sex toys are considered to be normal and acceptable. It’s a pity our laws don’t reflect that.