The wonderful Ell runs a very hot, very witty sex blog called Wilful Damage, which has received numerous rave reviews and has many fans. She also Australian, something of a rarity in the sex blog world.
I contacted Ell last year to see if she wanted to be involved in my feature about sex blogging for For The Girls. Unfortunately a combination of Christmas holidays and spam filters meant things went pear shaped and I wasn’t able to include her input before my deadline.
Now, however, I’m pleased be able to feature this interview with Ell here on my blog. If you haven’t visited her blog, I suggest you head over and enjoy her sexy writing and beautiful photos.
What made you decide to start blogging about your sex life?
I like to write, the blog is an extension of that interest. It gave me a reason to approach writing in a more disciplined way but it’s still a light hearted and playful place for me to test out ways of exploring sexuality through words. I like to mix up fiction, random thoughts, passing fancies, snapshots and fantasy into a sort of “box of bon bons†approach to blogging.
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Can you sum in a few words what your blog is about?
I mostly muse about pleasure and the connection between sex and sexual pleasure and life. My blog also provides me a venue to showcase and support things I like and enjoy and at times it gives me an avenue to vent some of my vexation surrounding issues like censorship.
Is anonymity important?
I’m not sure exactly where I stand on anonymity at the moment. It’s a pretty thin veil in my case. Writing frankly, without coyness, without revealing all is a challenge – sometimes that frustrates me but sometimes a level of anonymity is liberating. Writing is an exhibitionist activity.
Has your blogging ever interfered with your relationship?
No, not that I can think of. If anything I think it helps my relationship. Writing gives me a sense of completeness that makes me very happy and that happiness feeds into the pleasure of being with my sweetheart. I am blessed with a generous lover who enjoys my sexual appetite.
How do you deal with comments and emails?
When I first started blogging I had my email up, I had no idea about “spiders†trawling for email addresses and ended up with a lot of spam. I also ended up with a couple of readers who wanted to be closer to me than I wanted to be with them.
At the moment, beloved provocateurs and friends have my email and others just ask through my comments if they feel they want to be in contact – it seems to work well enough.
I did have one fellow take me to task in my comments over my penchant for beautiful gay boys. I was a bit hurt by that. I replied to him that his behaviour was akin to coming into my home and telling me he hated the artwork I’d hung on my walls. Which is fine, but it just didn’t seem very gracious. He was apologetic.
I’m always very grateful for comments and I’m thrilled if something I write moves someone in some way, makes them laugh, or turns them on, or causes them to see the pleasure in their own lives more clearly. My readers are very generous and extremely kind with their feedback. I love them for that!
Has sex blogging been good for you? What do you get out of it?
Yes, I’d say that blogging has been good for me. Writing causes me to reflect and sometimes distil a particular event and that clarification process brings its own pleasures. Like developing an “eye†in painting or photography, developing a “writers eye†helps me see more clearly.
Through the net and blogging I’ve met wonderful artists, filmmakers, photographers, pornographers and writers, all delightfully sexual beings. I’ve picked up paid writing and editing work directly out of associations that grew from my blog and I’ve made some good friends.
What are the positives and negative aspects of women blogging about sex?
I think there’s still plenty of public reproach for sexually adventurous women or women who like to show off a little as witnessed by various “outings†of various writers. There have been times when I’ve felt a little too exposed. I guess there is an element of risk in writing about sex, and the notion that your thoughts are forever archived publicly can be a bit disconcerting or stymieing. For those reasons I don’t write or show all that I might but I’m not ashamed of things I write. My little blog is a celebration and in some ways it serves as an affirmation, or confirmation that it is possible to be a wife, a mother, have a professional life and be a sexual person.
* Photo is one of Ell’s Half Nekkid Wednesday pics and one of my favourites. Courtesy of Wilful Damage blog.
Dear Ms Naughty,
Thanks for the interview! Sorry we were at cross purposes…the fates they conspire sometimes. 🙂
Ell
Thanks for the interview! (I followed a link here from Ell’s place)
I’ve been a huge Ell fan for almost as long as I have been blogging – I can’t remember how I found her, perhaps it was random chance of following a comment left someplace, but I’m very glad I did.
If I could only describe her with one word, I’d have to go with ‘refreshing.’ But ‘hotter than hell’ is more than one word, but it describes her also. Oh well, I’ve always been wordy..
Thanks, again.
That’s a fine interview. I would also add that Ell also encourages other Australian bloggers, she was the first I think to make a comment on mine, and she supports my partners who have blogged and do blog, this creates a community that is ‘rare’ from this southern country. So, Ell is a good blogging advocate – and great writer too.
Rups